What is a Juggalo? No, Seriously, what IS that?

W. Brimley making a rare appearance on this fine blog. It seems to me Rosie has her damn hands FULL with the crazies. Who would have thought that the guys on would be crazier than the ladies!?

Well, at least this one is a doozie!

So I took it upon myself to update my profile a few days ago to reflect my dislike of one of the most misunderstood and completely useless fractions of humanity. The Juggalo. Now if you're part of the uninitiated, that is the fan of Insane Clown Posse. Now these fans are completely die-hard, any sports fan would be shamed by a Juggalo by their shear intensity!
A little background, your average Juggalette (the female faction of the Juggalos), is generally, shall we say...a bit "out of shape" though, a blob is still technically a shape. You can tell them easily, with their "hatchet man" gear and excessive use of the word "ninja." The Juggalette that contacted me was not a diamond in the rough in Juggalo culture, the water-buffalo that decided to send herself my way was exactly what you would expect...let me paraphrase her note:

"HeY NiNJA,
WheRe dA F*Ck do U GeT oFF BaGGiN' ON my NiNjAZ?!
JuGgAlo FAmiLY RepREZenT! I WoULdnT F*Ck u if U PaID me!
JuGGAlo LuV is BettA tHen UR emo ASS! F*Ck emos.
U'D BetTA ChanGE YA proFIle or I'M GoNNA HaVe mah NiNJAZ in
FinD U. U'll DEal Wit DA HATCHET.
PeaCE & LuV
MZ. WilDa-BeASt"

Now, first off...it pains me to look at what she wrote almost as much as it pains me to look at her pictures. Obviously her name was changed to protect the (not so) innocent, but I must say, the name I've given her is quite fitting. I digress...the typing...oh the typing. The fact that is rife with spelling errors, self-censorship and usage of the letter "U" for "you" can be looked over for one reason, she typed her message in alternating capitals, though there is no set rule to how she typed it. Certain words that are repeated are capitalized at random in different places. I'm wondering if there is some sort of program, hell, even babelfish that translates English to Juggalo, that she uses. She refers to ME as "ninja" am I a closet ICP fan? Not that I know of, but hey, she must think so! Her threats of possible death by hatchet are laughable. Another thing, the whole "fuck emos" part. Well, I'll reveal this. I wear glasses, without them I am blind. Plastic black framed glasses are cheap as hell! These are not the huge grandma glasses that are the toast of the town all over the country, so it's interesting. It's actually the first time I've ever been called "an emo" and frankly, it's hilarious!

I wasn't quite sure what to say back to her, so I responded simply. "What is a Juggalo?"

4 days later...no response. I guess she's just not that "down with the clown."

-W. Brimley, possibly being hacked to death with a hatchet(man!)