Apparently I'm a Music Critic Now?

I just told Nancy Drew and the Brimley Boys, okay just W. Brimley, in depth about my phlegm to get him back for all his bathroom talk. Allergies and the end of the winter are really getting to me, so I have absolutely no tolerance for morons. I'm reaching back into the archives for winner #1. This one had imed me one time before and was way less creepy. He imed me again and I didn't think to be too scared right off the bat... Until the third line, that is. Clearly this is from before football season ended, but it relates to winner #2, so it all works.

[12:03:03 pm]jetsfan1981: Hello
[12:03:44 pm]SR: hello
[12:05:25 pm]jetsfan1981: I wanted to ask do you listen to alot of live music?
[12:05:55 pm]SR: do you mean do i go and see a lot of music live or listen to recordings of live music?
[12:06:35 pm]jetsfan1981: Listen to recording of it
[12:07:23 pm]SR: not really
[12:09:20 pm]jetsfan1981: I am looking for an opinion on a song I need someone unbiased
[12:09:37 pm]SR: i dont think id be much help there, sorry..
[12:09:47 pm]jetsfan1981:That is ok
[12:10:16 pm]jetsfan1981: How is the taken care of the aged industry?
[12:10:59 pm]SR: what..?
[12:12:33 pm]jetsfan1981: Nevermind I made a mistake
[12:13:55 pm]SR: um.. ok
[12:14:13 pm]jetsfan1981: Are you a Jets fan?
[12:14:43 pm]SR: i dont like football
[12:15:27 pm]jetsfan1981: I know you are a Mets fans
[12:15:46 pm]SR: you also know that theyre 2 different sports.. or id assume you did..
[12:17:40 pm]jetsfan1981: Well, I though the Yankees played the Colts or at least I'd like to see a running back hit Derek Jetter while he waiting to take a pitch.

[12:20:16 pm]SR: pretty sure its jeter there, bro.. and im not sure what kind of conversation youre trying to strike up with me right now.. but its not really working in your favor..

[12:20:59 pm]jetsfan1981: Yeah, I think I'd better go and try again later.
[12:21:24 pm]SR: ..have fun with that

What about me makes people that I have absolutely NO interest in message me!? Gah.. ANYWAY! Winner #2! My ears are stretched, it drives me absolutely nuts when people say gauged. My ears are also listed for what people notice about me first, along with a line about how it pisses me off when people point them out to me. He used the letters 'afk' in the middle of our conversation.... So let's go with that for his name!

35/M/Straight 82% match / 15% enemy

[1:36:33 pm]AFK: man those head injury pics look painful.
[1:37:02 pm]AFK: ..by which, I of course mean, hot.
[1:37:50 pm]AFK: not that I think head injuries are hot, I just don't want to insult you
[1:38:20 pm]AFK: I'm really good at starting conversations, can you tell?
[1:40:46 pm]SR: hahah i can see that! sorry, i was in another screen for work
[1:42:39 pm]AFK: it happens -- my boss happens by when I'm on this too.
[1:43:58 pm]SR: oh i work for my dad.. it doenst make a difference if im on this, but i was actually doing work work
[1:44:08 pm]AFK: huge holes in your ears? Like, you're gauged? Is that how it's spelled?
[1:44:33 pm]SR: stretched, actually
[1:44:35 pm]SR: 3/4"
[1:47:20 pm]AFK: I'm re-reading your profile -- I think I looked at it a while ago -- but it's been awhile -- the chat balloon was just irresistible in a must-press-button kind of way. How did you concuss?
[1:47:52 pm]AFK: You do Locks of Love! That's awesome. My niece just made her first donation -- it's one of a million awesome things about my niece.

[EN! I forgot when this became a date my niece website..............]

[1:48:03 pm]SR: i do
[1:48:43 pm]SR: yeah, some guy decided to defy the laws on physics by stagediving.. while on was shooting.. he landed on the back of my head.. my head went into a monitor..
[1:48:49 pm]SR: the rest is history
[1:48:53 pm]AFK: YOWCH.
[1:50:07 pm]AFK: So when you go on your first date, do you take your Crue with you, like a Vietnamese family?
[1:50:18 pm]AFK: ...because that would be intimidating.
[1:50:34 pm]SR: its actually been discussed... so esentially..its possible that itll happen

[EN! It's true! the boys and I discussed a group date! It's how we started this whole online internet dating extravaganza!]

[1:50:44 pm]AFK: Ha!
[1:52:04 pm]AFK: That would be intense. That's extreme dating. Someone should film that.
[1:52:18 pm]SR: ....also been discussed
[1:58:43 pm]SR: afk: Just found out Jeff Reed got a 1-yrcontract with a giant raise and have to make my boss miserable about it.
[1:59:41 pm]SR: ....i have no clue what youre talking about
[2:02:13 pm]AFK: Jeff Reed is the kicker for the Steelers. He's had some controversy because he needs to go home after the games instead of going out drinking
[2:02:50 pm]SR :yyyeah.. ive never actully sat down and watched a football game in my life..

[EN! TROOF!!! I really never have..]

[2:02:57 pm]SR: His contract was up this year, and he didn't like the offer they made him, so he let it dangle. They just made him a franchise player. It's a good thing. He's a great kicker.
[2:03:13 pm]AFK: Yeah, until I got the Steelers in my blood, I didn't either.
[2:03:25 pm]AFK: I'm from Pittsburgh. It's, well, non-optional.

[EN! Maybe he didn't realize he was from Pittsburgh? I don't even know what those two lines meant....]

[2:05:32 pm]SR: yyyyeah... i have nothing to say on this one dude.. sorry.. haha
[2:10:00 pm]AFK: That's OK. It's not on my dealbreaker list.
[2:11:34 pm]AFK: I have to get going, though. Want to get drinks at [bar name] sometime this weekend?

[EN! According to a friend of mine, this bar is a pretty sweet spot. I still don't care. All I know - I can now never enter it's doors!]

[2:11:55 pm]SR: i dont drink.. and i have no clue what that even is
[2:12:04 pm]SR: plus you didnt even ask my name dude.. how can you ask me to hang out
[2:12:48 pm]AFK: [bar name] is a cool bar, I'm rushed to get off the PC, and drinks are benign. Later.
[2:13:19 pm]SR: ..not so sure about that one..

UHHHH!!!! Was my NAME benign too?!

Enjoy!

Love!

senorita rosalita xo