Bonus After Hours Post!

Here I was, killing time and doing my friend duties (aka rewriting my friends dating profile) and good ol' PEC [publicenemycreeper] shows up to the party. Hopefully he wont show up again because I'm pretty sure he knows better now.

[12:58:12 am]PEC: wanna snuggle?
[12:58:42 am]SR: ok, seriously..... is there a reason you seem to like messaging me when i turn you down every time and im clearly NOT changing my mind?
[12:59:29 am]PEC: lol
[1:01:00 am]SR: its only funny because you think that it might actually work for you
[1:01:20 am]PEC: i know you are smart but come on, relax.

I love it, he thinks he can compliment me and it all goes away. We all know that THAT'S a longshot. Since I have you here, I was saving this one for the REALLY right time. That time has come. This guy had cute in his name, he was NOT cute at all. Since it's late and I'm completely drained, that will now be his name. He lived in India, so I have no clue how he stumbled across me, but he also tells us on his page that he has a house in Virginia and well... Straight from the horse's mouth - "I have a another home in 22191, Woodbrige Virginia but never Visited and am planning to do so soon." In his reasons that you should message him, this was listed;

You (((DO NOT))) message me if:-
...........
You smoke.........
You do drugs........
You are a flirt...........
You can't talk politely...........
You Dont have a plan in life.....
You dont have a phone...........
You dont have a Web cam (to make sure ure not a guy fooling people, that u are genuine i have a cam to prove i am genunine and not a female trying to fool any one :) )...........
You are indecisive.......
You are for one night stands..........
You Donot Have a DECENT PROFILE.......
You Donot Have DECENT PICS ON YOUR PROFILE....

AND PLEASE I DONT EVEN WANT People with promiscuity To be my freinds.

Normally I wouldn't even waste the time of adding in profile details, but I'm pretty sure he was informing me that I'm not decent in this conversation, so hey man - you deserve it. On my page I specifically list that I have no direction, why would he even bother with me!? Also, I think he wants a donut.

35/M/Straight57% match / 41% enemy

[12:44:55 pm]notcuteatall: hi
[12:45:21 pm]SR: hey
[12:48:37 pm]SR: ...may i help you?
[12:49:05 pm]notcuteatall: are you from the okcupid customer service
[12:49:17 pm]notcuteatall: i would like to tell you there are no decent females here
[12:49:30 pm]SR: you imed me dude..
[12:49:40 pm]SR: i shouldnt have to make conversation, sorry to inform you
[12:49:56 pm]notcuteatall: bye
[12:50:10 pm]SR: yeah ok
[12:50:27 pm]notcuteatall: i hate you
[12:50:50 pm]SR: good to know.. i have no feeling towards you either way
[12:51:03 pm]notcuteatall: lol
[12:51:04 pm]notcuteatall: why hate me
[12:51:07 pm]notcuteatall: more more
[12:51:15 pm]notcuteatall: lol
[12:51:19 pm]notcuteatall: bye
[12:51:23 pm]notcuteatall: i was pulling your leg
[12:51:27 pm]notcuteatall: ni snse of humor
[12:51:32 pm]notcuteatall: are u looking her efor a fuck
[12:51:36 pm]notcuteatall: lol
[12:51:41 pm]notcuteatall: shit people use the internet for fuck lol
[12:51:43 pm]notcuteatall: bye

The last time i checked, people use the internet for more than that, but hey - what do I know?

'Til morning.. xo
xsrx

Return to the Husband Store.....

So I'm sitting here minding my own business when the owner and operator of the Husband Store walked back into my life. The conversation really justs peaks for itself and shows really how uninterested I really am with the whole idea of even talking to him.

[11:30:09 pm]superdupersnowman: Hey
[11:31:20 pm]Rosalita: hello
[11:31:39 pm]superdupersnowman: How are you doin today?
[11:33:59 pm]Rosalita: im all right
[11:34:01 pm]Rosalita: you?
[11:34:29 pm]superdupersnowman: Doin great and addin colors to life as usual, thx
[11:35:04 pm]Rosalita: i dont even know what that means
[11:35:42 pm]superdupersnowman: color has different meanings for different people
[11:36:20 pm]superdupersnowman: to understand my colors you have to ignore the definition of color you already know
[11:36:38 pm]Rosalita: um.. ok
[11:36:59 pm]superdupersnowman: Not and funny concept
[11:37:12 pm]superdupersnowman: But for sure interesting
[11:39:53 pm]Rosalita: im not really sure what you see in me to im me again.. we didnt really have a successful first conversation..
[11:40:39 pm]superdupersnowman: You have a point...
[11:41:03 pm]superdupersnowman: but does that mean our next conversations will also be unsuccessful
[11:41:53 pm]superdupersnowman: It also depends on your and mood and the direction of conversation
[11:42:21 pm]superdupersnowman: It also depends on your and my mood and the direction of conversation
[11:43:08 pm]superdupersnowman: And for me... I add new colors to my life every moment
[11:43:30 pm]superdupersnowman: May be our last conversation had a specific color too
[11:43:53 pm]Rosalita: ok i have no clue what youre even getting at with this color thing..
[11:44:01 pm]Rosalita: i dont think im very interested in finding out either
[11:44:09 pm]superdupersnowman: I see that
[11:45:34 pm]superdupersnowman: May be you are right
[11:45:51 pm]superdupersnowman: I dont find anything interesting in our conversation either
[11:46:04 pm]superdupersnowman: I am sorry I bothered you
[11:46:08 pm]superdupersnowman: Good luck
[11:46:43 pm]Rosalita: you too.. have a good night
[11:47:19 pm]superdupersnowman: Thx, have a colorful life... I know you wont understand
[11:47:31 pm]superdupersnowman: But still I will good for everyone!
[11:47:35 pm]superdupersnowman: *wish
[11:47:52 pm]Rosalita: yeah see... its really only just because youre the only one that says it that people wont understand it..
[11:48:32 pm]superdupersnowman: No Not people...
[11:48:53 pm]superdupersnowman: I would love to explain... but you were interested

As you can see, I really could have cared less with knowing what he meant by 'colors'. I'd assume he means he just wanted new attributes to his fantasy world, but hey.. Who knows. For our next contender, we have Bobby. I can call him that because its part of his actual name. Bobby imed me a few weeks ago and I'd been saving him for the right blog. This one seem appropriate. He's from a state roughly a thousand miles away and had his settings that you can't message him if you're more than 250 miles from him. He imed me, mind you. He had a whole rant on his page about women rejecting him because he's been laid off and is living back at home. I feel as though THESE are not the reason that women reject him. You'll see why.

25/M/Straight77% match / 21% enemy

[2:27:09 pm]Bobby: HI
[2:28:04 pm]Rosalita: hey there
[2:28:23 pm]Bobby: Hey howa re you omg you are so cute :)
[2:28:57 pm]Rosalita: im all right... thanks..

[Editor's Note! I mean... I guess thank you? That's not really how you go about greeting a lady.]

[2:29:09 pm]Bobby: Anytime
[2:30:21 pm]Rosalita: ill be back in a second, i have to run out for work
[2:30:43 pm]Bobby: k

[EN! Really not a lie! I had to get to the bank by 3!]

[2:43:05 pm]Rosalita: oook
[2:43:25 pm]Bobby: oh ok lol so you got a webcam or mic? lol
[2:43:36 pm]Rosalita: no, i dont do any of that stuff
[2:47:19 pm]Rosalita: sorry to disappoint

I'm pretty sure that the fact that he's been laid off had NOTHING to do with our conversation going nowhere. I hope that this blog sticks around until I'm old. I cant wait to be a cougar blogger. I'd probably have to change my name though. Senora just doesn't have the same ring to it.

xoxox!

Senorita Rosalita

He Just Wanted Some Him-On-Him Action!!!!

So, the eastern seaboard has done it again! We have a snow day today and this is what kicked it off. Here we introduce my new boyfriend who was clearly born in 1981. People are just so creative with their numbers after their names, aren't they?

28/M/Straight45% match / 51% enemy

[1:16:48 am]hisnameandcity1981: hi
[1:17:20 am]SR: hi
[1:17:47 am]hisnameandcity1981: whats up how are you?
[1:19:16 am]SR: not too much.. just killing time so that ill be able to sleep.. you?
[1:20:36 am]hisnameandcity1981: about the same
[1:21:29 am]hisnameandcity1981: only i have a technique
[1:21:41 am]SR: yeah i dont have one of those
[1:21:48 am]SR: i dont sleep til im tired... and im not... so..
[1:22:10 am]hisnameandcity1981: i understand
[1:22:31 am]SR: .....were you going to share your technique or you were just metioning that you have one
[1:24:25 am]hisnameandcity1981: its just the usual me on me action lol
[1:25:08 am]SR: ahh
[1:25:10 am]hisnameandcity1981: its relaxing
[1:25:17 am]hisnameandcity1981: don't judge me
[1:25:18 am]SR: i just dont sleep.. so theres that
[1:25:26 am]SR: youre judging yourself there, bud
[1:26:04 am]hisnameandcity19811: what makes you sleep?
[1:26:24 am]SR: being tired.. which is why i dont sleep.. this is going on a circle here.. as you can see
[1:27:06 am]hisnameandcity1981: oh i see
[1:27:30 am]hisnameandcity1981: do you have to be early tmw?
[1:27:53 am]SR: im not sure if i have to go into work.. because of the stuff outside..
[1:29:12 am]hisnameandcity1981: yea its gross
[1:29:12 am]hisnameandcity1981: :)
[1:29:33 am]hisnameandcity1981: i would recommend some wine if you have any
[1:29:39 am]hisnameandcity1981: vey relaxing
[1:29:49 am]SR: im straight edge... you didnt read my page too well, huh?
[1:29:50 am]hisnameandcity1981: how is your head by the way?
[1:30:08 am]SR: its fine.. that pictures actually almost 2 years old.. thank you though


I went to bed shortly thereafter. I woke up to a foot of snow and the sound of plows. I fired up the ol [dating site] and gchat so that I could still talk Brimzmaster 2000 and ended up with this winner. He might be my new favorite suitor. Whereas I'm not too into the snow, which is dumping buckets outside my window right now, HE'S SUPER DUPER! Now it may seem that I'm REALLY snotty to this one. The truth is, he didn't show up on my visitor list which means he saw that I was online and able to be imed, so he jumped on it. It wasn't for another 2 minutes that I got thepop up saying that he'd viewed my profile.


26/M/Straight72% match / 25% enemy
[10:06:58 am]superdupersnowman: Hey

[10:07:18 am] SR: hi
[10:07:27 am]superdupersnowman: How are you doin?
[10:07:40 am]SR: im all right, yourself?
[10:08:22 am]superdupersnowman: Super Duper and Enjoying snow, thx
[10:10:45 am]SR: so.. was there anything you wanted to talk about...?

[10:12:01 am]superdupersnowman: Sure... we can talk about keeping colorful contacts rather than plain contacts

[10:12:23 am]superdupersnowman: or coffee and cream
[10:12:25 am]superdupersnowman: lol

[10:12:30 am]SR: huh?

[10:13:14 am]superdupersnowman: coz coffee and cream also have its own adventure like cupcakes!

[10:13:47 am]SR: pretty sure im not really getting what youre saying..

[10:14:03 am]superdupersnowman: Nothing...

[10:14:16 am]superdupersnowman: just picking words from your profile and messin with you

[10:14:39 am]SR: yeah that doesnt really translate..

[10:15:29 am]superdupersnowman: What are you up to on this snowy day?

[10:16:00 am]SR: i doubt if ill be leaving my apartment considering theres a foot of snow outside

[10:18:27 am]SR: you?

[10:18:46 am]superdupersnowman: I love snow

[10:19:03 am]superdupersnowman: I am planning where should I go to have some funnnn!

[10:19:23 am]SR: well then get on it

[10:19:56 am]superdupersnowman: Any suggestion...!!!

[10:20:38 am]SR: how would i have suggestions for you? you dont even live by me

[10:22:01 am]superdupersnowman: Well you are photographer visit different places

[10:22:16 am]superdupersnowman: some place might strike your mind

[10:23:10 am]SR: yyyyeah.. i take pictures of hardcore bands.. thats all inside.. and

[10:23:27 am]SR: doesnt really appeal to many others

[10:26:15 am]superdupersnowman: Your profile is really funny

[10:26:24 am]superdupersnowman: I never saw such a profile

[10:26:39 am]superdupersnowman: Have you ever been to the Husband store?

[10:27:09 am]SR: the what now?

[10:27:23 am]superdupersnowman: huh?

[10:27:34 am]SR: i dont know what youre talking about

[Editor's Note! At this point I googled it. It reminded me of the jokes that the middle aged women that I work with send to eachother. I rolled my eyes..... A lot.]

[10:27:54 am]superdupersnowman: If you dont know...

[10:28:06 am]superdupersnowman: menas you never heard that joke

[10:28:46 am]superdupersnowman: Here you go

[10:28:53 am]superdupersnowman: A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. "That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

[10:29:15 am]superdupersnowman: But dont forget to tell me... till which floor you would visit

[10:29:28 am]SR: is that like one of those email forwards that middle aged women send around?

[10:29:52 am]superdupersnowman: No its a lot different than that

[10:30:08 am]superdupersnowman: much more fun

[10:32:21 am]SR: How did you calculate 99.3% of time you wear band tshirts

[EN! It's on my page. It's also probably true.]

[10:32:50 am]SR: its a joke, dude...... doesnt seem like youre picking up on it

[10:33:49 am]superdupersnowman: alright alright... you got it

[10:35:01 am]superdupersnowman: which floor?

[EN! Actual conversation with W. Brimley at the same time:

WB: wow. this guy SUCKS

that joke is a lot different?

no, its not

i've received that in an email.

SR: hes asking me which floor

WB: say "the basement. fuck you"

SR: hahahahaah

We're the best.]

[10:35:16 am]SR: what?

[10:35:43 am]superdupersnowman: Guess you didnt read the joke yet

[10:35:58 am]SR: exactly... joke....... its really not that funny

[10:37:10 am]superdupersnowman: I agree you are funnier than that

I'm hoping that more comes out of today. The snow outside is insane, the people inside aren't too far off!

xo

xrosiex

Repeat Offender Day!

So! There may be an update after this if either of them keep talking, but literally the second i signed in, badconversationalist81 ambushed me. Every time i see his little icon pop up i roll my eyes. He actually imed me back on the 3rd also and I'd had it in the stacks waiting for the right moment. Well that moment has come, because he just imed me again this morning.

Feb 3rd

[1:27:26 pm]badconversationalist81: hi
[1:27:36 pm]SR: hi
[1:27:44 pm]badconversationalist81: hey what are you up to?
[1:27:50 pm]SR: just working
[1:31:11 pm]SR: ..did you have more to say to me?
[1:31:37 pm]badconversationalist81: what time do you get off? hahaah
[1:32:07 pm]SR: sorry, youre the one that told me i was too far
from you last time..

Feb 23
[10:23:30 am]badconversationalist81:hi
[10:23:49 am]SR: hi
[10:28:15 am]SR: ...did you want to talk?

I guess he either remembered me or remembered I was '2 far' again. This brings us to siridiot. Back on January 22nd, siridiot messaged me. He works in the area where I live and I guess thought that that was enough reason to message me. Thankfully, I don't live anywhere near his place of employment.

28/M/Straight38% match / 57% enemy

[4:59:21 pm]siridiot: hi how are you
[5:00:02 pm]SR: hey, im all right.. you?
[5:00:16 pm]siridiot: I m ok thanks
[5:00:22 pm]siridiot: how was your day ?
[5:02:49 pm]SR: it was ok.. yours? im actually about to leave work in a few minutes
[5:02:59 pm]siridiot: me too :)

[5:03:13 pm]siridiot: and I work in [area of city] in the [business name]

[5:03:48 pm]siridiot: so I will go to work in a ten minutes
[5:03:53 pm]SR: im not sure that i know what that is
[5:05:26 pm]siridiot: it is a market which sells organic products near the last station of [trainline]

[5:06:49 pm]SR: oh ok cool..
[5:07:01 pm]siridiot: what about you ?

[5:07:17 pm]SR: i do the money end of things at a drs office.. yours is probably better..
[5:07:31 pm]siridiot: :)

[5:07:41 pm]siridiot: maybe

[5:07:53 pm]siridiot: what is your off day ?

[5:08:12 pm]SR: weekends
[5:08:33 pm]siridiot: hmm

[5:08:40 pm]siridiot: what are you gona do ?

[5:09:53 pm]SR: not sure yet
[5:10:27 pm]siridiot: hmm ok I will be working but i would want to hang out with you exaclty

[EN! Why did he add exactly...?]

[5:11:05 pm]SR: im not sure about that man.. you.. dont know me..at all.. and i dont know you
[5:11:46 pm]siridiot: ok what about you after we know eachother step by step ?

[5:12:09 pm]siridiot: or maybe you can visit me in where I work tonight :)

[5:12:41 pm]SR: you didnt even make an effort to ask my name
[5:13:26 pm]siridiot: I know because I am in hurry now what is yoru name ?

[5:13:31 pm]siridiot: sorry about that ?

[5:13:57 pm]siridiot: sorry about that

[5:14:16 pm]SR: yeah no.. thats not happening now.. youre in too much of a hurry to ask my name but youll try to hang out with me...? come on..
[5:14:50 pm]siridiot: I have to go now sorry maybe we can talk later byeee

Well that wasn't enough for him.... He imed me again today.

[10:29:41 am]siridiot:hi
[10:30:53 am]SR: hello
[10:31:31 am]siridiot: how are you
[10:31:42 am]SR: im all right? you?
[10:31:57 am]siridiot: I am ok
[10:32:06 am]siridiot:what are you doing in the morning time
[10:32:44 am]SR: working
[10:33:22 am]siridiot: what is your job?
[10:33:41 am]SR: yyyyeah weve talked before... you should know this..
[10:34:51 am]siridiot: yes I know but I wanted to be sure
[10:35:01 am]siridiot: how is everthing
[10:35:20 am]SR: that makes no sense
[10:35:27 am]siridiot: why not ?

I gave up on this one, obviously. I really just have no patience for people that 1) don't bother with punctuation when it's clearly needed and 2) people that just im people for their geographical convenience. UGH!

It's a good thing I love talking about myself, because I'm going nuts right now!
love,
xrosiex

Monday Guest Star Day!

The first part of this post comes from a reader, we'll call her Miss A. She emailed me and had a specific request to have me post this.

TO: AreYourSeriousCupid

FROM: Miss A.

This guy was a crazy fucker. Apparently my initial reply speed was not good enough for him (I was on my iPhone), which makes me an "Americunt" journalist. Way to go from zero to misogynist in ZERO SECONDS, dude. Thank you for reinforcing my original impression, which is that you are the mayor of CREEPTOWN.

[10:51:15 am] Mayor Of Creeptown [MOC]: are those huge cats

[10:51:30 am]MOC: or are you a gnome?

[10:52:01 am]MOC: (or perhaps both? all three options are pretty great)

[10:57:27 am]MOC: ah no answer, as if I don't know you're there by the profile view.

[10:57:32 am]MOC: typical cowardice of a journalist. ;)

[11:03:19 am]Miss A: Thanks for the IM, but I'm not interested.

[11:06:01 am]MOC:oh well

[11:06:07 am]MOC: that excuses basic etiquette

[11:12:33 am]MOC: and still no comment, no concern for netiquette or what you could have done.

[11:12:35 am]MOC: lemme guess!

[11:12:42 am]MOC: you didnt touch the internet until the 21st century.

[11:12:57 am]MOC:one of the great many leeches brought here by the removal of the education and expense barrier.

[11:12:58 am]Miss A: Please leave me alone. I'm not interested in talking to you. Thanks.

[11:14:02 am]MOC: of course you're not, you're threatened. thats what Americunt journalists do, they hope others take action so that they don't.

[11:14:10 am]MOC:if you're not interested in talking, you should turn off the IM feature. ;)

[11:14:14 am]MOC: or learn how the other features work.

[11:14:21 am]MOC: you know. KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING before doing? crazy concept, eh?

[11:14:31 am]Miss A: I am interested in talking, but not to you. You are abrasive and kind of stupid, apparently. Please leave me alone.

I give Miss A. some credit for being as nice as she was. I'd like to think that she would have turned up the 'tude had she been on the computer.

Don't you worry, I had enough for both of us this morning! This one went to my page and clearly didn't even read it. Right after he'd imed me, I refreshed on my welcome page and it said 'last visited: just now'. I really have nothing to write about this one, because he really speaks for himself. I guess i found husband #46547 today. Though technically, he found me!

[EN!! I preface this conversation with the fact that i had pretty much no sleep last night and I was typoing all over the place. Tiredness mixed with idiocy really just doesn't do me well! And on a Monday morning, no less!!! Oh and English was definitely NOT his first language.]

30/M/Straight43% match / 53% enemy

[11:14:26 am]pageturner1234: hi
[11:14:37 am]SR: hey
[11:15:10 am]pageturner1234: how r u?
[11:15:22 am]SR: im all right
[11:15:23 am]SR: you?
[11:15:29 am]pageturner1234: good
[11:17:05 am]SR: sp... what made you im me?
[11:17:05 am]pageturner1234: iam looking for a relationship...what about you?
[11:17:09 am]SR: so..
[11:17:14 am]SR: i am not
[11:17:30 am]pageturner1234: what r u looking in for
[11:18:24 am]SR: a little intrusive there, arent you?
[11:18:52 am]pageturner1234: may be ..
[11:19:02 am]pageturner1234: but i want us to be on same page
[11:19:58 am]SR: what made im me?
[11:20:16 am]SR: like what specifically said 'oh her, ill message her'
[11:20:27 am]SR: *made you..
[11:20:46 am]pageturner1234: iam looking for a cool,fun loving girl
[11:20:59 am]pageturnerr1234: defunitely i felt that way about you
[11:21:18 am]SR: uh huh.. thats pretty general there dude.. and were 53% enemies.. so i dont think were really on the 'same page' as you stated

[EN!! In my own defense there, 90% of the time when we're that high percent of enemies it's usually because they're anti gay marriage/anti-women's right to choose/very into drinking/all right with infedility, etc. Those are all issues that I'll never budge on no matter how awesome a dude is.]

[11:22:02 am]pageturner1234: i don't think we should be looking at some percentage to decide a relationship
[11:22:41 am]SR: what dont you get about the fact that i said 'im not interested in a relationship'?

[EN!! Maybe the grammar is an issue for me, Mr. Pagerturner!]

[11:23:48 am]pageturner1234: iam happy if i find a friend in you ..atleast..
[11:26:04 am]SR: im sorry, i dont consider you a friend

How would we be friends is he hasn't even asked me my name?!

I really wish I had more to say about this one, but it's just making my head hurt.

loveandhugs!

rosie

Senorita Rosalita Charm School...

I've decided that I've become something a Civil Servette because of this. There's some girl out there not being imed by these FREAKS because they're messaging me instead. Socrates (self--proclaimed, so that's his name now) over here (of course I'm just thinking of Bill and Ted right now and calling him So-crates) is no exception.

31/M/Straight74% match / 20% enemy

[3:38:30 pm]Socrates: *tickles your feet*
[3:39:12 pm]SR: uhh hey there..
[3:39:43 pm]Socrates: hi there
[3:40:52 pm]SR: howre you?
[3:41:22 pm]Socrates: ok be better in about an hour and 20 mins u
[3:42:32 pm]Socrates: im all right
[3:43:33 pm]Socrates: ic guess u haven't had many people tickle your feet
[3:44:23 pm]SR: i actually prefer when people dont, personally
[3:44:48 pm]Socrates: oh you don't like to laugH?
[3:46:32 pm]SR: those arent directly linked, last time i checked
[3:46:59 pm]Socrates: Really...the most common natural reaction to being tickled is laughter first and foremost
[3:47:08 pm]Socrates: theres other reactiosn involved with it but laughter is always part of it
[3:49:18 pm]SR: im not really a big fan of being touched by random people
[3:49:57 pm]Socrates: hmmm random I guess I'll have to upgrade from being random to you
[3:50:01 pm]Socrates: met anyone from this site?
[3:50:54 pm]SR: yeah i dont know if thats going to happen...
[3:50:56 pm]SR: no...
[3:51:15 pm]Socrates: why you on here then if you are going to doubt someone right away on a computer...and you've not met anyone yet
[3:51:21 pm]Socrates: looking for penpals?
[3:52:19 pm]SR: you didnt even bother trying to ask my name and youre tickling me virtually.. would YOU want to meet someone like that offline?
[3:53:02 pm]Socrates: yes because "Hi how are you, good hows the weather" is boring, I'm original
[3:53:08 pm]Socrates: so whats your name?
[3:53:13 pm]SR: yeah im not telling you that..
[3:53:31 pm]Socrates: ok I'll call you Lisa, you look like a Lisa hmm
[3:53:50 pm]Socrates: how did girls get to be so judgmental?
[3:53:53 pm]SR: nots even close to my name, but sure.. if thats what you want to stick with
[3:54:12 pm]SR: im not, but thanks for insulting me
[3:54:13 pm]Socrates: why so much anger and hatred Lisa
[3:54:28 pm]Socrates: sometimes I wonder if girls want a robot they can program instead of a real person
[3:54:59 pm]SR: sometimes you should consider that you wouldnt walk up to a girl that youve never met in public and tickle her feet, so it wouldnt really be ok to do online, would it/
[3:55:35 pm]Socrates: that's why I like online people can be a little more real instead of politically correct and act like robots...people act fake to your face, do u prefer that?
[3:55:53 pm]Socrates: I don't wanna be a robot
[3:56:08 pm]SR: no ones telling you to be a robot
[3:56:34 pm]Socrates: a lot of the girls I've talked to most of them act like they want a robot who they can program
[3:56:47 pm]Socrates: and a lot of them say/act the same way, say the same things etc
[3:56:56 pm]Socrates: I, on the other hand, have some originality like Socrates
[3:57:50 pm]SR: i think that if you wont talk to someone this way in person, theres no point in doing it online.. so original or not, socrates.. youre being a little bit creepy... sorry..
[3:58:50 pm]Socrates: another girl word lol
[3:59:03 pm]Socrates: man you guys have some book u use? I gotta buy it
[3:59:19 pm]SR: i love that its our fault..
[4:00:00 pm]Socrates: who said fault...just said its funny how you mostly talk the same/act the same
[4:00:10 pm]Socrates: didn't say its your fault for being like that, it might be in girls DNA or something
[4:00:47 pm]SR: are you going around tickling everyones feet or just me? because that could be a tip off
[4:01:46 pm]Socrates: that's almost as bad as being an axe murder
[4:01:57 pm]Socrates: I'm creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy :O)
[4:02:03 pm]Socrates: sorta like the boogeyman
[4:07:27 pm]SR: i really dont know what you expected from a conversation wth me..

There you have it ladies and gentleman. One of the great thinkers of our time.. And I just let him slip through my fingers (virtually, of course).

xo

sr

"I carried it too far..." PART TWO!

Well Craig didn't enjoy my response. I realize how bitchy it was, however, did you see what he said about my grillz?! Come on dude!

Craig: [4:00pm]

Not sure if you are hilarious or just plain rude!?!!?!
Don't need your editorial comments on my protocol...you answer if you are serious or be rude and dictate how you want your message to be...then do not bother writing again if that is the case!

No the overbite is HOT...keep it!

C

SR: [4:22pm]

oh, you can bet that im hilarious.. dont worry..
im only responding to you because youre apparently hung up on my 'overbite' which doesnt exist..

i also think its funny that you seem to think that that message was in any way appropriate to send to a woman.. AND that she wouldnt be halfway offended by any of it.. good luck in your quest dude..

C: [4:23]

Sure is!!!! I real woman would not be offended unless she had something to hide.
C

C: [4:24]

A real woman...meaning if you are in fact one..I was about to say I doubt you are a real one.
C

SR: [4:34]

thats pretty basllsy to say when your profile is completely blank..
and thats not called insecurity, man.. thats called you think that you know what i actually look like..
hey thanks for questioning if im a 'real woman'.. im not the one begging random girls for attention..

I'm hoping he writes back at some point. Serial killers really don't have any tact, do they?

xo!

SR

"I carried it too far, thats for sure" - Jeffrey Dahmer

SO! As you can see, I'm starting out with a quote from a SERIAL KILLER so you don't really have to use much imagination for what's coming next.

This guy didn't pass my filters for age. I was hoping that he was someone that I knew and just trying to throw me off my game, but it turns out his join date was over two years ago. His profile was blank and he also had no pictures. Don't these people realize I need to know exactly how ugly they are so that I can avoid their ugliness being rubbed off on me?

Here we have Craig. I didn't bother changing his name because I want you, the reader, to feel exactly what I felt when I saw the little message box on my 'Welcome' page. Since he didn't pass my filter, it tells me as the subject. His actual subject was 'read anyway'. So, reader... Read anyway!

[1:07pm]

Where is my dreamgirl?
We would look tremendously cute together!!
I like a smart and sexy young chic and you seem to be both.
You found the perfect guy with all the qualities you desire. It's so hard to find that special person. I can understand why you might try here. I am 6 ft tall, weigh 190 lbs, have a nice smile, brown hair with natural blond highlights and have blue eyes. What if though your guy would look younger than most 25 year olds? To me, most people 10 years younger look like 40....so we definitely would look cute together...if you remain as well preserved as I, then I would be one happy guy. I just turned 38, but look more like 27 (don't let the age bother you). I look as hot as you...and for 38 that is saying a lot...so if you are interested, I will send you my pic. I have the rare combination of youth and maturity. I am clean-cut, well-groomed and sexy. People often say I am both handsome and intelligent. Among other things, I am romantic and know how to treat a woman. What I want is someone with that same philosophy toward me…someone caring, considerate and willing to please. I am college educated . I live in Florida. Are you willing to relocate for your dream man/soulmate? I work in database ops in the Orlando area; I often visit my parents on most every weekends. Hope you are close with your family too. Must be loyal. For fun, I like romantic walks on the beach, swimming, bicycling, snorkeling. I work out at the gym to keep fit and am slim, trim and fit, like gourmet food. I consider myself cultured in relation to art, music and cultural things etc. Love to travel when possible, especially to exotic places. I am an extreme car fan!!! Love cars! What I desire is a young lady with class and style. Someone who is genuine, is sincere, understanding, compassionate, loving, not annoying or demanding; a loyal and dedicated girlfriend to me, someone who is respectful and has morals and values. Should have honest, good and sincere intentions. Also tired of meeting girls who do not want to work...I need someone who will add to my pile and not diminish it...an equal contributor. Life is expensive and in order to save and have a secure future it takes both to build it together. Are you a saver or a spender? Since I realize there is no such thing as the perfect person, I am still seeking that perfect girl for me. One that embodies all the qualities I desire and has all the same core points that I possess. Also be goal-oriented, ambitious and college-educated. And one who is good domestically as I am....neat and clean in the home! Must be financially independent and a hard worker. And a good cook. What is your ethnic background? Yes I do like my girl to be independent but not so much so she does not need loving and does not do whatever she pleases without considering her man....that kind of independent where a woman feels has to exercise her independence I could do without! A couple should work together as a team and always be good to one another. Age 21-35 preferred -
She must be: NONSMOKER (disgusting character flaw) NON-DRUG USER NON-DRINKER (some/moderate ok) NEVER-MARRIED - preferred, but if not EXPLAIN! NO CHILDREN DISEASE-FREE DEBT-FREE Good Hygiene And a nice smile..do you have goregeous teeth? Are they straight with a pretty natural cream white color to them in person? Ever wear braces? Retainers? Is your smile all natural or have you had work done to it? Silver fillings? Any crowns silver or gold etc? Missing teeth? Do you wear a removable partial for the two you cracked, leave them blank or had them crowned?...I am thinking you cracked them before you ate the veggie burger and did not realize it at the time so that when you bit down and your upper and lower teeth met, the crack which had been fractured and expanding over time, broke your teeth.
Denture yet? Has your love of sweets given you lots of cavities? How many have you had?
You seem to have a sexy smile and a nice mouth to kiss and more to love!! kissably hot! I love to kiss is that something you enjoy as well? You have a sexy overbite..makes me want to kiss it! Do you have pretty hands and feet? Long or short toes? Get pedicures? Are your feet clean and nice smelling? Do you wear open strappies to showcase them? I love to kiss and cuddle and find massages sublime! Do you give good massages? Are you a good kisser? Piercings can be hot...especially tongue, down below and belly button...do you have those? Tattoos are NOT...they cheapen!
Some people post their ad to see how many replies they get with no serious intentions to ever meet. Well, not me. I would like to meet you and get to know you. So no games!!! Would love to find an appreciative and appropriate match. So many girls either have baggage or have slept around lots....I don't want either. We are very much alike in our requirements. I do not want anyone who has had a child from another man...actually creeps me out just to think about it. Some things should be sacred between a man and woman....only our own one day, not other people's! I would like MY own one day created with my wife...but only in time. Still think the man needs to lead and do not want a girl who can be submissive.
Are there any decent girls any more?
Craig

[EN!!! I should note that my most private thing that I was willing to reveal on my page was that i cracked a molar on a veggie burger a few years ago. I'm aware of the integrity of bone and why it happened. I didn't need him informing me.]

My response:

[2:18pm]

you realize that this message could be written by only one of three types of people right? those three being a dentist/periodontist/orthodontist, a serial killer, or a podiatrist.. next time you send this kind of message to people, keep that in mind.

also thanks for pointing out my overbite.. ill look into some orthodontia..

I really wish I could even try to write more about this, but I'm ridiculously disturbed. OH! Also! He has it blocked that you know when he visits your page. Who knows how long he's been stalking me.

Love,

Senorita Rosalita xo