Race to the Finish!

I should preface this with saying that 90% of my friends are guys and I'm very aware of their porn viewing habits. That being said; I was unaware that they should be shared with random people on a dating site. We have here a 30 year old that had ridiculous hair that couldn't even fit under the hood of his hoodie. It was somewhat of a sideways mohawk that really wouldn't have work even if he'd been less lame. He had really nice eyes and I'm sure if I'd actually taken time to read his profile, that probably would have been listed under the thing that people notice first about him. Needless to say, his profile was generic and lame. I didn't even bother trying to get into it because I could tell from his main picture that this guy really wasn't deserving of my attention. SO! Without further delay; I present to you: sidewalk09! [get it.... sideways mohawk.....? And he of course had numbers after his name. How much do we love numbers after names? SO MUCH!]

[1:58:46 pm]sidewalk09:hi rose

[2:00:14 pm]rosalita:hey there

[2:05:45 pm]rosalia:howre you?

[2:05:54 pm]sidewalk09:fine u

[2:06:05 pm]rosalita:im ok..

[2:06:30 pm]sidewalk09:wa u doin today

[2:07:31 pm]rosalita:just working.. whtre you up to?

[2:07:46 pm]sidewalk09:bored, bout to watch porn lol

[2:08:06 pm]rosalita:..and then you decided to im me.. well.. arent i honored!!

[2:08:26 pm]sidewalk09:well i imed u prio to deciding to watch it

[2:09:19 pm]rosalita:oh ok, theres that

[2:09:50 pm]sidewalk09:i wonder how fast i can cum lo9l

[2:10:11 pm]rosalita:well ill leavethat race up to you! you can report details later if youd like

[2:10:21 pm]sidewalk09:haha ur cute

[2:11:04 pm]rosalita:well thanks

[Editor's Note! Sometimes I'll fix a few typos. I'd be lying if i said I'd fabricated any of this one.....]

Well! He signed off after that! How disappointed was I?! And here I was.. Thinking we had a CONNECTION! Clearly I needed to work for this one. I feel like he would have been extremely appropriate for a family dinner... Or a business lunch! But, why stick with sidewalk, when I can have this winner? 26 year old; abbreviatorist; 88% match [bullshit], 5% enemies [bullshitx2], we'll call him skepticalbrother. Seriously now, who lurks on girls with their sister in tow?

[9:33:57 pm]skepticalbrother:is that pic with the big bump on your hair real?

[Editor's Note! The bump is on my forehead a good 3/4" from my hairline. That may as well be a mile! Who knows, maybe he thought I was looking into a Hollywood Bumpit and I'd put it on my foehead?

[9:34:09 pm]rosalita:why would it be fake?

[9:35:15 pm]skepticalbrother:I thought it was photoshop or something....my sis wanted to know lol . How did that happen

[9:35:35 pm]rosalita:no, its real.. i got a concussion at a show

[9:36:20 pm]skepticalbrother:wow

He was wordy, wasn't he?

IN OTHER NEWS!! PublicEnemyCreepo has been straight up stalking me. He even winked at me the other day!! I went nowhere near messaging him back. I have absolutely no interest in even considering that one!

I've had an exhausting week of being stalked. I think I need a nap and a cupcake.

xoxox!

SR